Or ever.

Last weekend, my ‘rents staged a visit: mostly lovely excepting the part where my mom went home and facebooked a picture she took of the cat. She captioned it, “My grandchild…for now.” And this one half a self-respecting very-probably infertile couple thought to herself those two words that would make any over-eager would-be grandma cringe, incredulous: Or ever.

See, this aspiring grandmother has absolutely no clue we’re throwing down for as many at-home fertility analysis kits as we can afford and/or obtain from the likes of online pharmacies in far-removed parts of the world. We’d rather that dreaded diagnosis come never, but if it’s going to come, we’d prefer the truth. And we’d prefer not to have to wait until October for a doctor to tell us what we already know. Enter: discreetly packaged sperm quantity counter? Pee-on FSH predictor sticks?

So much for knockeduppedness coming naturally. At once these here Projected Progenitors are embarking down the same path some seven million Americans traverse each year in order that they might grow their families. Sometimes that path is rugged. Sometimes it makes travelers weary. And sometimes the only way it knocks ’em is on their ass. I’ve been told. As for my hubby and me, we’re right there at the beginning of that path that promises to move us, shake us, strengthen us, weaken us, change us in ways that as we sit here researching fertility-promoting lubricants we can’t possibly even imagine.

Sigh. And so it is that I interrupt this boo-hoo-hooing to laugh along with other people who appreciate how the up side to infertility is sticking it to Grandma. Isn’t he the cutest?!

About Projected Progenitor

Projected (adj.) (prə-ˈjekt-ed): From the 15th Century Anglo-French 'projector,' from Latin 'projectus.' Devised in the mind, predicted. Progenitor (n.) (prō-ˈje-nə-tər): Middle English, from the 14th Century Anglo-French 'progenitour,' from Latin 'progenitor,' meaning 'to beget.' An ancestor in the direct line, foreparent.
This entry was posted in Humor, Infertility, Pre-Conception. Bookmark the permalink.

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