Pregnancy – and other shots in the dark.

Because sometimes life is funny and G-d is a really clown, on the morning we elected to come clean to the family about our two-year struggle with infertility, I took a way-too-early home pregnancy test. It was positive.

So we Projected Progenitors drove to the clinic demanding an early blood test. Too early to be meaningful, we were told. A kindly nurse acquiesced only so far as a progesterone count which, she informed me, was quite high. A good sign. But still. Come back on Monday.

That afternoon, the infertility turned maybe-pregnancy-after-infertility announcement was enough to make an Aspiring Bubby scream and Would-Be Zaidy cry. We explained how there were no real guarantees we were a) actually pregnant and b) that, if we were, we’d get our take-home baby from the deal. (They told us otherwise. We were. And we would.) We told them we’d be grateful to know a pregnancy was even possible. (They told us it was.) We’d celebrate the baby later. (They’d celebrate immediately, don’t mind them. And we didn’t.) We needed them to understand that regardless of whether this journey ends with a biological baby, a kid from Kenya or a bungalow fit for two on the beach of Kauai’s North Shore, we had just achieved the little peace we didn’t think possible and we wanted them to be happy for us. (They were. They really, really were.)

That night, there was an epic thunderstorm. We lost power just long enough to put on an intramuscular injection sideshow-by-flashlight for an intrigued (and maybe slightly horrified) set of Projected Pop’s ‘rents. A shot in the dark. Just like our kid.

Fast-forward to Monday and three additional now-bright-blue pee sticks and a long-awaited beta later:  We’re knocked up. This still-early blood test reveals HCG is at double the usual count. We think to that consent form we signed on the day of transfer: We hereby promise not to phone the fertility clinic to complain when, at 3:00am, our twins are crying in stereo. We promise not to sue for emotional distress when, following months worth of sleepless nights, one of them has a diaper explosion which soils a brand new dress. In fact, we promise to sit down and write a thank you note instead because, in either event, we’d have gotten just exactly what we want out of this deal. 

It’s all a little (strike that, a lot) surreal. Excitement muted for the two years which made us wise.

I might be somebody’s mother soon. Maybe even two somebodies.

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About Projected Progenitor

Projected (adj.) (prə-ˈjekt-ed): From the 15th Century Anglo-French 'projector,' from Latin 'projectus.' Devised in the mind, predicted. Progenitor (n.) (prō-ˈje-nə-tər): Middle English, from the 14th Century Anglo-French 'progenitour,' from Latin 'progenitor,' meaning 'to beget.' An ancestor in the direct line, foreparent.
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11 Responses to Pregnancy – and other shots in the dark.

  1. Anonymous says:

    (it’s me, your blog stalker again;)

    I meant to comment on your last entry that I got my first BFP with my older daughter at 12DPO, which is the equivalent of when you go that BFP. Then I remembered you probably had a trigger shot so I kept it to myself but look at that, big fat rising HCGs!!

    I am going to continue stalking you because I am SO FRAPPING EXCITED for you and I really hope that isn’t weird…

    • Ahhh! Thank you! I’m so wicked flattered, you have no idea. Get this: This is the first cycle I didn’t trigger, so I was pretty confident. I just wish I didn’t have to wait until November 7 – November 7! – to actually SEE what’s going on in there!

      • Anonymous says:

        uggggh, yes, that is a terrible wait. when I was pg with my second daughter- after prolonged ttc w/oligomenorrhea-nos and a chemical pg (nothing compared to what you’ve gone thru, but stressssssful), I was petrified, waiting for that first darn ultrasound. crossing all crossables.

  2. I am SO OVER THE MOON for you!!! And with that beta – I’m calling twins! Can’t wait to hear more about it – wishing you everything sticky!

  3. Shasta says:

    Congratulations on your pregnancy! I found you through top mommy blogs and I have to say I’m incredibly happy for you!

  4. TheFoodnatic says:

    I LOVE this entry! And I am SO excited for you as well! I don’t think Anonymous should feel weird at ALL about being excited. My heart skipped a beat and I dang near teared up by the end of this post. There is something about genuine love for fellow human beings. It is engrained in us and it is awesome…not weird. =) What a blessing….and what wonderful times you have ahead of you! =)

  5. MARIE COLE says:

    Congratulations on your pregnancy, I am really happy for you guys. :))))

  6. Jen says:

    I can so relate to this post. I struggled to conceive all my kids. With my first, I had given up hope when suddenly after all the medications supposedly failed, I was pregnant.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

  7. Glad to hear it all worked out in th end. Happy SITS day!

  8. Tricia O. says:

    Though I (thankfully) did not have trouble with fertility, I do remember the breathless confusion I felt when I saw the positives on the pregnancy tests with both of my boys. A little bit overjoyed, a little bit terrified, and a little bit numb all at once. I was going to be somebody’s mama. Wow.

    Happy SITS Day!

  9. Joanne says:

    Sometimes you just can’t help but share the news, even when your logical self is saying it’s too early. Congrats!

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