January 2009: Mama-in-the-Making takes her last Depo shot. Excitedly purchases jumbo-sized box of tampons (a bit prematurely), and anticipates return of absent menstrual period. It doesn’t resurface until…
October 2009: Aspiring Ma nurses hellacious cramps/preps for law school exit exams/experiences first period in over three years. Would-be Ma and Pa have themselves the should-we/shouldn’t we/right now/maybe later talk. The result: Let’s maybe not be so careful. And let’s maybe eat healthfully and avoid mercury-rich fish and soft cheeses and wine on the weekends!
January 2010: Would-be Ma and Pa peruse pregnancy-related literature, commence charting cycles and basal body temperatures and timing unprotected love-making. Get ‘er done. The blog is born as a means through which, when the time comes, we might share the story of our knocked-uppedness with curious friends and fam. Because, duh. We’re going to get knocked up. And soon.
February 2010: The Mama Pro-Pro sits for the bar exam which, though she’s maybe spent more time researching luteal phase defects than making sense of the Rule Against Perpetuities, she passes on her first try. We Aspiring-‘Rents have pre-conception consult, undergo genetic testing, are ok’ed to keep on keepin’ on, reassured. Most folks our age will find themselves preggers within six months.
July 2010: Except we don’t. So we return to the docs. S’up with this, we wonder. Can’t say, they tell us. Yet. We learn insurance won’t supplement the cost of additional testing until the fall. We Prospective Parents sense something is amiss. It is.
October 2010: Consult with repro endocrinologist. Commence fertility testing. Would-be Ma’s hormone counts and HSG are a-ok. Ovulating. No blockages. The Projected Pop’s is prescribed Clomid, diagnosed with zero percent morphology, low volume, low testosterone and inoperable blockages in the prostate/seminal vesicles. We’re never – repeat never – going to get knocked up au natural. Our “if” and “when” and “how” is uncertain. Which sucks. More certain: We love each other. A lot. We’re so in it.
February 2011: IUI#1. Natural cycle. One follicle. Projected Pop’s counts have improved and still a Big Fat Negative.
March 2011: Because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, for IUI#2, we add Clomid and the Ovidrel trigger shot to our regimen. Three follies. 159 million motile sperm. 75 million washed. No pregnancy.
April 2011: IUI #3. Switch Clomid for injectable Gonal-F. Somewhat (highly) unpleasant. And still a negative pregnancy test. IUI#4 follows. Same protocol. One follie. 71 million motile sperm. The result?
May 2011: Not pregnant. This despite what appears to be growing baby bump! Be not fooled. Say our docs, it’s actually a giant, hormone-induced ovarian cyst. Unmedicated cycle. We forgo IUI for worthless-but-fun love-making.
June 2011: IUI#5. Another Gonal-F/Ovidrel protocol involving three follies, 96 million motile sperm and a negative pregnancy test. We determine to move ahead with IVF.
July-August 2011: In preparation, there are three weeks of oral contraceptives. These followed by daily vaginal ultrasounds and morning blood work, injections of a larger dose of Gonal-F and a here-and-there shot of Cetrotide culminating in Trigger Shot Day! TSD involves the usual spread-eagle ultrasound, a lot of waiting on instructions, a noon-time injection of Gonal-F, an injection of Micro-dose Ovidrel and, at exactly 10:00pm on July 30, a shot of Pregnyl in anticipation of IVF 36 hours later. The Aspiring Mama’s grown 22 follicles for the occasion! Undergoes retrieval. With the Projected Pops, creates 15 embryos of which seven are still alive for transfer five days later. We transfer one greatly extended grade “AA” blastocyst we’ve nicknamed “Maggie the Multi-Celled Organism.” Hoping, wishing, praying ensues, but pregnancy doesn’t.
October 2011: Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle! We put back two, quality five day blastocysts we nickname “Iggy” and “Zoe.” At seven days post transfer, we take a home pregnancy test to find they not only survived the thaw but the journey to a comfy little cranny in the Aspiring Ma’s uterine wall. Big. Fat. Positive!
November 2011: Docs confirm the presence of a single, viable pregnancy. Though one Blasto-Babe is lost, we embrace prospective parenthood and possibility: First baby due June 2012!
January 2012: PS – It’s a girl!
June 2012: “Elbee” is born! She’s rad.